It’s Quips and Quotes Friday, and I’m late!  So sorry!  I thought I might be able to get by with skipping it today, but the hounds are at my door howling and wanting to know why there’s no blog.  Ack!  And these were people who assured me that they’d never seen my blog!  All I can say is:  BUSTED!

As my father would say, “I’m (almost) a day late and a dollar short.”  But here ya go!

Crazy Talk

The other day, Troy and I were immersed in a serious conversation and – as usual – the kids were listening and hanging on our every word in an effort to learn something new.  I don’t recall what exactly Troy said to me, but at some point I exclaimed, “That’s crazy talk!”

Suddenly my 7 year old – who always has to bring humor to the conversation – pipes up and says, “That’s not crazy talk, Mom!  THIS is crazy talk:  ‘blah-blah-blah-gloopedy-glop-gloop-blah!'”

Stay Away from the Stinkin’ Girls!

At the end of every school year, the students at my son’s school always put on some type of special music performance.  Last year – at the end of Braden’s kindergarten year – Braden was preparing to attend this annual event and was taking extra care to look and smell great.  He had dressed with extra care, and had taken some extra time to put on his father’s cologne and deodorant, and had even gelled-up his hair until it was like a block of concrete.  He looked exceptionally snazzy.

“Mmm!” I said to Braden, smelling him as he walked into the room. “You look so handsome and you smell so good! Stay away from them stinkin’ girls! They’re trouble.”

“I can’t help it! I’m surrounded by them” he responded with complete sincerity.

Later as I watched Braden perform with his class, I was so proud of him that my heart had swelled three or four sizes.  As Braden’s class left the stage and they joined the parents in the audience, I reached my arms out to Braden and said, “Come give me a hug, Buddy.”

“No!” he exclaimed loud enough for the entire auditorium to hear.  “You’re a stinkin’ girl and I’m supposed to stay away from ’em!”

Uggghh!  I’ll be careful how I give instructions in the future!

Keep Out of Reach of Children

I swear that the weirdness in my house never ends.  People ask me where Braden comes up with his bizarre statements and antics, and I can only surmise that he takes after his father.

One afternoon my husband returned from work and noticed one of those long-nosed lighters on the kitchen table.  You know the ones that you use to light candles?   Troy picked the lighter up off of the table and began clicking it off and on, off and on…

Click-click…Click-click…Click-click…Click-click…

“Wow!  This isn’t very child-proof,” he commented.

“Yeah. That’s why it’s out of reach of the children,” I replied.

“Oh yeah?” he asked.  “Then how come I’ve got it?”

Click-click…Click-click…Click-click…Click-click…

And people wonder where Braden comes up with stuff?