The Wit and Wisdom of Braden (2nd Ed.)

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On Monday evening I went to a Volunteer Appreciation Event for our school district.  While there, I was talking with one of the school district’s “Director of Some-Such-Thing” and we were discussing small children and how their views of the world is so much more interesting than ours seem to be as adults. Kids just look at the world differently. She was relaying a story about her son – now in his late 20s – when he was only about 5 or 6.  Apparently one day she found her son sitting on the floor in front of the refrigerator with both doors wide open, and he was staring up into the fridge.  Her instinct was to scold him for sitting there with the refrigerator doors open, but she caught herself just in time and instead wondered aloud at what he was doing.  Her son’s response was simple:  “I’m sitting on the floor looking at the things in the fridge, and did you know that everything looks really different when you sit on the floor and look at it from the bottom up?”  Thankful that she hadn’t ruined this moment, the “Director of Some-Such-Thing” joined her son on the floor so that she could see what he was seeing from his angle.  And you know what she said?  “He was right.  Everything did look different in a very cool way when you look at it from the bottom up.”

As I was reflecting back on this conversation today, I was thinking about my own 7 year old son and the goofy things he says and does on a daily basis.  Though he leaves us in stitches most days, he’s’ not really trying to be funny.  He’s just sharing with us the world as he sees it.  He’s “sitting in front of the open fridge staring upward,” and he’s giving us a daily play-by-play of the things that he notices.

With that in mind, today I’d like to share with you the 2nd Edition of “The Wit and Wisdom of Braden.” So sit back and relax for a moment as I bring you the wisdom of the world through a child’s eyes.

Braden on Marriage…

A couple of years ago, I took off several of my old rings that I no longer cared to wear and put them in a cabinet in the kitchen.  I’m not sure how or why Braden happened upon those rings, but one day he found them and came to me all excited to share with me the treasure he’d found.

“MOM!” he said in barely concealed glee.  “I found your rings!  This one is so BEAUTIFUL!  Can I please have it to give to my wife when we get married?”

For a moment I was almost in tears!  How sweet is it that my little boy would want to take one of my rings and pass it down to his future wife?  What a nice, sentimental kid, I thought to myself.

“Awww, Braden,” I said. “That’s really sweet! Why do you want to give your wife that particular ring?”

“Cuz I don’t want to actually have to buy her a ring!”

Ish…so much for sentimentality!

On sharing with his future wife…

One evening Braden and I were home alone and had decided to have a movie night.  My husband and our older daughter were out for the evening, so this was a little like Mommy-Son Date Night.  I had popped a big bag of popcorn, and Braden and I had settled in to watch some movie On Demand.  About ten minutes into the movie – and about 1/2 way through the bucket of popcorn – Braden pauses the movie and says, “Mom, know what I’m gonna do when I’m all growed up and I watch a movie with my wife?”

“I have no idea, Buddy,” I said.  “What are you going to do?”

“Well…” he said with complete sincerity, “When I’m all growed up and I watch a movie – me and my wife – I’m gonna pop three bags of popcorn and put it in a bowl.”

“Oh really?  And why is that?” I asked.

“Cuz movies are very, very long and my wife might get hungry and one bag doesn’t make much popcorn.”

See now…the boy is thinking ahead!

And finally…

One evening I was in the bathroom preparing for “date night” with my husband.  It was our evening to go out – just the two of us – to a nice restaurant and just spend time “together” without having to referee arguments between the kids.  As a result, I was taking a little extra time to get ready and that meant taking a bit extra care with my makeup.  Just as I was applying my lipstick, Braden comes in and asks, “Mom?  Why do girls have to wear makeup?”

“Well,” I said, “I guess because we like to try to look pretty for the boys.”

Braden pondered on that for just a moment and then asked, “But you’re married!  Why do you wear makeup when you’re already married to Dad?”

I had no answer.  I still have no answer for that.

12 responses to “The Wit and Wisdom of Braden (2nd Ed.)”

  1. Oh, I seriously loved the refrigerator story. I might have to use that sometime. Don’t worry, I’ll credit the “director of some such thing!” hahaha! It’s so true, isn’t it? That’s probably why children’s art work is so beautiful and imaginative – they see the world so differently.

    I had a funny feeling the ring story was going to end that way! haha! Braden seems like a very practical child. : ) I’d have to agree with him about the popcorn – there’s never enough.
    As for the make-up… I’m starting to think we put it on to look pretty for the other girls, but mostly we put it on for ourselves, to hide all the flaws! Tell Braden it’s a magic trick, now you see this wrinkle, now you don’t!! Only kidding! hahaha!


    1. Hahaha! Love the idea of a magic trick!

      And yes – it’s fun to watch the kids think…their artwork is sometimes spectacular! I’ve been hanging on to a drawing of me that Braden did, trying to decide when/how/where to post it. It’s very…interesting. 🙂


      1. I’d love to see Mr. Braden’s artwork. I’m sure it’s as interesting and original as he is. ; )


      2. Ish! I’ll have to figure out a time/place to post the picture. It’s really quite creative…if terribly unflattering. 🙂


  2. On the makeup deal my thought is we put it on to have our husbands tell us how pretty we still are even though we are married we want him to notice us and give us compliments because if we don’t keep looking nice he may not compliments us any more and we become a old shoe and it also makes us feel pretty and good. I’ll have to try the refrigerator one it sure makes me ponder.. Now on the popcorn braden is right it doesn’t last long especially if one of them like popcorn.


  3. That Bran=den is a thinker! I’m so glad you are documenting all his funny sayings in a blog. How does he feel about that? I’d love to hear! I’m also happy to hear that Braden will probably be very good with his money! 😀


    1. Hahaha! To be honest, he LOVES that he’s being quoted in the blog. Every time I laugh about one of his antics, he says, “Are you going to write that in your blog?”


      1. Oh, how cute! I bet he does get a kick out of it! I love that he’s planning head. He’s like a little comedy writer! HA!


      2. He’s a goof! The other day I took something that he did and wrote about it in a blog. He then came to me and asked me to let him do something. I told him no and he said, “But I gave you material for your blog! If I do something else funny that you can use in your blog, then will you let me do it?” Ummm…no! LOL!


  4. This is awesome! Braden reminds me so much of Squishy, my 7-year-old. I had a strange conversation about make-up with him – he said, “Mom, you need to put more make-up on so Dad will like you more.” Hmmm. Nice.


    1. Ouch! I hope you set him straight! LOL!

      I’m going to have to write a blog about teaching Braden to be a gentleman. We were discussing it last week, and he’s got so many “outs” on why he shouldn’t have to open the door for girls. LOL!


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