Mommy Always Knows Best!

Img Src: http://threeringmom.com/2011/05/07/how-to-mend-a-broken-heart-and-five-other-things-i-learned-from-my-mother/

My children fight constantly. I guess most siblings do, but I never thought that my children would be at such constant odds with nearly nine years between them. Thinking back, I have a really good idea when it started. It all began with an incident back when Braden was about ten months old and Amber was nine. My guess is that Amber must still be holding a grudge. I guess I don’t blame her, when you consider what happened.

Summer 2005

We were in Oklahoma, visiting the grandparents. I was in the bathroom getting ready for the day, and I had the door open so I could monitor the interactions of my children in the living room down the hall. Amber was playing with Braden and I could hear his giggles from the bathroom as she raised him up over her head, then brought him quickly close toward her face to give him little slurpies on his tummy or neck.

Looking back, I could’ve predicted what would happen. In a way, I guess I did. In fact, I had warned Amber numerous times over the months – and even just a few minutes prior – that jiggling the baby like that after he’d eaten would cause him to spit up. But ya know how kids can be. They have to learn from experience. All the experience of all the parents in the world combined means absolutely nothing to a nine-year old who knows everything and has to experience the world herself to understand true cause and effect.

“Amber,” I had said. “You really ought not to jiggle Braden like that. He just ate and he’s likely to spit it all up.”

“He’s okay, Mom” she assured me. “See…he likes it! He’s having fun!”

Summer 2005

“Okay…” I responded. And decided that it was out of my hands. This wasn’t the first time I’d ever warned her and, to date, she’d ignored all of my warnings. The baby was safe and being entertained at the same time. She’d been warned and she knew what she was doing, so why interfere?

I went back to the bathroom to complete my daily preparations…hair, makeup, brush my teeth, perfume, deodorant….

I was just finishing up when I heard an unmistakable sound from the other room.

“UUURRRRPPPP!”

I knew immediately, and without any mistake, what that sound was. And, if I had any doubt, the sounds and sequence of events that followed removed any doubt from my mind.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGG!” screamed Amber, as she raced past me into the bathroom, practically knocking me over and out of her path! She barely made it to the toilet before losing the entire contents of her own breakfast into that porcelain god.

Barely able to suppress my laughter, I couldn’t resist saying, “I told you.” And oh how those words gave me a grin!

“HE SPIT UP IN MY MOUTH!” she screamed. “IN MY MOUTH! YOU NEVER SAID HE’D SPIT UP IN MY MOUTH!!!

At that point, all was lost. Truly, I knew she was in danger of Braden losing his breakfast on her, but it really never occurred to me that he’d target his path so well. Apparently, she had been lying on her back holding Braden high over her head, giving him a perfect target with the help of gravity.

We all wanted to feel sorry for her, but our sympathy was quickly overshadowed by the fact that we were completely unable to stop laughing. To add insult to injury, the next day the Baby Blues comic strip ran a blurb that was seemingly directed at Amber (see below). Of course that set off another round of laughter and, six years later and much to Amber’s dismay, we’re still not able to discuss it without a fit of giggles.

I think the moral of this story is pretty clear: “Mother always knows best.” With that said, sometimes it’s fun to let them learn by experience.

Baby Blues Comic Strip - Original Publication Date July 6, 2005

9 thoughts on “Mommy Always Knows Best!

  1. Poor Amber! As mom’s, I guess we can all relate. Better to learn that lesson on your baby brother than with your own kids. She’ll be a great mom! (haha! about the grudge!)

    It reminded me of a time when my daughter Lily threw up on me, on a flight from Houston to Chicago. I was a new mom and though I had prepared for baby emergencies, I didn’t think to bring a complete change of clothes for myself! The poor passenger next to me had to smell vomit for the entire flight as my clothes were completely saturated! Oh the trauma!!!

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    1. Oh man! That’s THE WORST! Amber once threw up IN MY HANDS! I don’t know why I stuck my hands out there for her to puke in…just a reflex! And the worst part is that all of the strangers who saw it happen just stared at me. Not a single person offered to go get paper towels or anything! I couldn’t believe it!

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  2. The same thing happened on the plane. The stewardess didn’t even really help out? Nice people! If I had been smart I would have turned her to face the floor – it would have been easier to clean. But like you said, it was reflex, like “I’ll take the vomit, I’m her mom!” haha!

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    1. Exactly! We were at a fabric store and she said, “I think I’m going to throw up,” so I stuck my hands under her mouth as she puked! What the heck was I thinking?????? And I’m still stunned – 13 years later – that not a single person offered to even get me paper towels! I actually had to ASK…”Could someone please maybe get me a paper towel or something??” What a bunch of idiots!

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  3. Poor Amber! I love the picture the summer 2005 picture! So adorable. That must have been taken earlier that day. Before the unfortunate uh . . .how shall we say it . . . technocolor yawn incident?

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  4. Scriptor Obscura

    OH MY GOD this is hilarious! I was really laughing as I was reading this one! Great story (But unfortunate for your daughter). Still, it is HILARIOUS! 😀 Thank you so much for so much laughter, I really needed it today! I have to share this story with others, so that they can laugh their heads off silly too! 😀 This is such a great story, and one that you will never forget!

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    1. Much to Amber’s dismay, I don’t think any of us will ever forget it! Her brother was only 8 months old, but we’ve told it so many times that he swears he remembers it. It’s always the first thing he tells new boyfriends…”Did Sister tell you I threw up in her mouth?” LOL!

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